To GOD be the GLORY!: Weaponry

10 Ways to Be Your Wife's Hero (From www.allprodad.com)

At the mention of watching a chick flick, many husbands will make excuses as to why the couple should watch something else. They simply do not want to watch the mushy, romantic films. Many husbands wonder how their wives are so captivated by the emotional drama found in chick flicks.

Women watch chick flicks for the hero. Just like how they loved fairy tales as little girls and dreamed of their very own prince. Wives may gush about how wonderful the fictional hero is from their favorite movie, but they do not actually want that guy. They want you, their husband. They want you to be their personal hero, the prince who sweeps them off their feet.

Be her rescuer and protector
According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, one of a person’s greatest needs is the feeling of safety and security. To be your wife’s hero, she wants you to be that person who makes her feel safe. This role of rescuer/protector is easier than what the action movies make it out to be. Simply be there. If she falls down, help her back up. If there is an insect or rodent, put it outside or kill it. Be there when she is scared and be there to wipe away her tears.
Romance your wife
Love your wife and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place. Let your wife know that she is lovely; her feminine heart needs to hear that. Here are 10 Ways to Romance Your Wife.
Set the example as the spiritual leader in your house
Be the spiritual leader in your household for your wife and your kids. Take the family to church and pray together. As you and your wife grow closer to God, you will also grow closer to one another.
Support her
Everyone faces battles of some form in life. Be there to support your wife when she faces her battles. You cannot always fight them for her, but you can stand by her. Sometimes she may need her own personal hero to stand up for her.
Listen to her, but don’t try to fix the problem
As a husband, you will hear all about your wife’s problems and annoyances. She shares these things with you to have someone listen. You don’t need to fix her problems unless she asks you to. Just listen.
Spend time together
Women get jealous of other women whose husbands spend a lot of time with them. The material things long hours in the office can buy are nice, but ultimately your time is more valuable to your wife. It is also important to spend time together as a family when you have children. Spending time together is essential to maintaining a healthy marriage and family.
Pay attention to detail
Women are more detail oriented than men. Try to pay attention to little details. Notice new haircuts, compliment new clothes, and learn facial expressions. Dates are also very important. Remember important occasions such as anniversaries and holidays. Plan ahead for them in order to make reservations or find the perfect gift.
Give her a break
Once you and your wife have children, the dynamics change some. Your wife will occasionally just need a break and a chance to escape from everything. Volunteer to watch the kids while she has a girls’ night or takes a nap. Or arrange a sitter so the two of you have a chance to get away together for a date night.
Commit to your wife
It is not just enough in a marriage to love your wife. You need to commit to her to demonstrate that love. The most important thing is to be there; do not be an absent husband. When things get hard in life or your marriage, do not run. Work through things together. Overcoming obstacles together will strengthen your marriage.
Appreciate herLet your wife know how thankful you are for her. Take note of all the little things that she does and thank her for doing them. Let her know how important she is to you.

10 Ways to Romance Your Wife (From www.allprodad.com)

If the idea of “Romancing Your Wife” confuses you, then take a serious look at this list. Have you been married three months… three years… thirteen years… or thirty plus? It really doesn’t matter, because TODAY is always a good day to re-think where you stand on romance. Here are 10 Ways to get you started:

Learn her love language, and then use it every day:
Read “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman and figure out what you can do to become fluent in your wife’s love language. Then use what you have learned and use it every day.
Date your wife:
If you asked her out again today, would she still be excited to say yes? You must have been pretty good at this at one time or she wouldn’t have married you! So why stop now? One date a month at a minimum. Use your imagination, get creative, and make it special.
Make her feel special (don’t take the relationship for granted):
“She already knows she’s important to me,” is not a useful response. If you haven’t done something to demonstrate how special she is in – say – the past four hours, then you’ve already waited too long. This is not a high-budget item; it’s high-consideration. How about an “I love you” phone call, a simple card slipped in her purse, a mid-week lunch date, or flowers delivered to her office. Do you still open the car door? Serve her hot tea, wash her car, deliver an unexpected embrace, a foot rub, candles with dinner? You get the idea.
Use some imagination:
Plan events, dates, evenings at home, vacations – even stolen moments – with the kind of creative thinking that motivated you when you first asked her out. There’s a psychological concept known as the “self-fulfilling prophesy.” Simply put it means this: believe she’s worth the trouble and she will be; stop trying hard and so will she; bring some creative intention to your romance as if she still knocks your socks off – and she will (be prepared to lose your socks!).
Take care of yourself:
Check the scales, think about how you dress around your wife, throw away the cigarettes, start some regular exercise, don’t be a slob. When she sees you, does she take a second look – or does she look away? Does the way you present yourself tell your wife you want her to be attracted to you – or do you take all that for granted?
Say “I love you”, and say it often:
The #1 misnomer believed by unromantic men is this, “I shouldn’t have to say it – she should know.” Saying “I love you” is the opposite of inflationary; it turns out “I love you” amplifies exponentially with usage.
Be kind:
Kindness could well be the “X-Factor” in romance. Being kind is underplayed, undervalued, underrated, and certainly underutilized. Want romance? Be “Mr. Kindness.” Learn to make thoughtfulness and consideration your second nature. NIice-guys really do finish first - and she’ll fall for you all over again.
Be a gentleman:Please don’t confuse being a gentleman with the medieval brand of chauvinism known as chivalry. Chivalry died a well-deserved death several centuries ago. Gentlemen, on the other hand, are courteous, respectful, well-mannered, faithful, generous, modest and charming. Stand up when she leaves the table, open the car door, walk on the street side of the walkway, help her on with her jacket, run to the car for her umbrella… you get the picture.
Tell her she’s beautiful:
Women who hear their husband tell them they’re beautiful become more beautiful. Men who tell their wives they’re beautiful believe it with more conviction every time the words leave their lips. Love expressed = beauty; beauty = romance. It’s win-win.
Spend uninterrupted time together:
There are only 168 hours in each week – the number never varies. The amount of time we offer our relationships can appear like a vote as to how much we value the people we say we love. Romance, like anything else worthwhile, is worth the investment of time and attention.

Giving

Biblical Basics: How We Should Give

I wish all of my giving could be glitzy, like donating a kidney or volunteering on Extreme Home Makeover. But more often, my contribution probably pays for the church's copy machine ink or toilet paper.

But that's OK. Giving was never intended to be a periodic, only-for-desperate-needs activity. In the Old Testament, God commanded the Israelites to tithe (give a tenth of) everything they had. He asked for their firstfruits – the best of their harvest, before they took any for themselves. While tithing isn't a New Testament mandate, it serves as a valuable guideline today, along with these commands and examples:

Give

…regularly (I Corinthians 16:2)

…secretly (Matthew 6:1-2)

…sacrificially (Luke 21:1-4)

…based on your earnings (I Corinthians 16:2)

…purposefully (II Corinthians 9:7)

…cheerfully (II Corinthians 9:7)

…with God’s priorities in mind (Matthew 6:19-21)

…generously, realizing that your giving determines what you receive (Luke 6:38, II Corinthians 9:6)

God also made some bold promises concerning rewards for His good and faithful servants if they would first trust Him to care for them (Malachi 3:10, Deuteronomy 15:10).

Modeling the Master

I heard about the poor widow's offering (Luke 21:1-3) a hundred times growing up, but it was never as real, or visible, as the ceiling fan. According to Deborah Spaide, author of Teaching Your Kids to Care: How to Discover and Develop the Spirit of Charity in Your Children, the most empowering giving experiences for kids involve the tangible. She says simply collecting coins is less satisfying because "it requires too much abstraction for kids to imagine the money turning into biscuits for hungry children."

You know your kids are watching – so start involving them in your benevolence and teaching them to be cheerful givers. Don't know where to begin? Sites like learningtogive.org suggest:

Give as a family by sponsoring a child, supporting missionaries, or responding to a news story. Even if kids aren't giving money, they can write letters or make something for the individual(s) in need. (Be sure to share any pictures, letters or thank you notes you receive with your children.)

Let kids cook with you when you're preparing a meal for a sick friend or cookies for an elderly neighbor.

Encourage kids to create artwork in the form of pictures or cards to brighten a shut-in's day.

Help kids choose gently-used items like toys and clothes that they can pass on.

Throw a "charity" birthday party where guests bring new or gently-used items instead of gifts. Let the birthday boy or girl select an organization to help, and take him or her along when you donate the items.

Make or buy kids a bank with sections for saving, spending, and giving.

Teach the firstfruits principle by having kids donate their shiniest coins or the money at the top of the allowance pile. ²

Introduce "giving" role models by reading stories, visiting museums, or otherwise presenting the lives of noted altruists.

Ask questions, such as: How did it feel to give? Do you think you'd like to give again? What did you like about (giving role model)? Do you have any ideas about how we could help so-and-so?

Share your "ceiling fan" stories about ways a family member gave generously, or how someone made a difference by helping you.

7 Notes You Should Write to Your Children

As I was sitting with Jim Caldwell, Head Coach of the Indianapolis Colts, in his office, he shared with me how he wrote many letters to his daughter in college, but she never said anything to him about it when they spoke on the phone or when they saw each other. He wondered if she ever even read them. Then, one day when Jim was visiting her in her dorm room, he saw all of the letters he had written her opened and proudly posted on her bulletin board! Your children may not express their enthusiasm about your notes or even acknowledge getting them, but know that your notes to them will impact their lives and always be remembered.

Over the years, I’ve made it a practice to write notes to each of my children. I’d like to share the kinds of notes I’ve written and then show you how you can write those notes to your children as well. If you don’t feel like you’re the writing type, or don’t know what to say, I’m going to try to give you some ideas and specific things you can say in your notes. Some of these notes you’ll write one time; others will be notes you’ll want to write on an ongoing basis when you can.

Here are the 7 Notes that you should write to your children

1. Love note. This is a note where you express your unconditional love to your children for who they are and validate their wonderful gifts. You can read what I wrote to my children in my How to win your Child’s Heart blog post.

2. Lunch box notes. Another way to uplift our children is to slip them a note in their lunchbox. My wife, Susan, and I found that just simply letting them know we’re thinking of them will encourage them through the day. Not sure of what to write? How about, “I love you,” “I’m proud of you,” “Have a great day,” or “Hope your test goes well.” You can even surprise them with a “Let’s go for ice cream after school” note. I’ve got some free, downloadable lunchbox notes you can use to get started.

3. Post-It notes. You can write little notes to your kids on yellow sticky notes and put them on their mirror, dresser, notebook or anywhere you want. Like lunchbox notes, these post-its are just quick words of encouragement to your kids. You might just say something like, “Way to go. An “A” in math! Awesome!” or “That was so nice that you encouraged your brother when he was down.” You can check out my Love your Family with Post-Its blog to see how we do it in our home.

4. Pillow Talk notes. As our children were growing up, Susan began to feel as if all communication with them was becoming instructional or disciplinary. So one time, she grabbed a spiral notebook, wrote a note to one of our daughters praising her for a nice thing she did for her sister and put it on her pillow. To my wife’s surprise, my daughter wrote back and placed the journal on her pillow. As a result, Susan developed the Pillow Talk journal so parents, like you, can write short notes of encouragement to their kids when they desire.

5. Forgiveness notes. Every parent makes mistakes in child-rearing. And every parent should ask their child to forgive them for those mistakes. Sometimes a verbal, “I was wrong, would you please forgive me?” is appropriate. Other times, a written letter to your child is the way to go. Write to Right a Wrong.

6. Blessing note. There is something inside every child that makes that child crave a good word from his or her parents. When we bless our child, we are placing our “seal of approval” upon them and giving them power to prosper in many areas of life, including marriage, children, finances, health and career. In addition to writing a note of blessing, you can also have a blessing ceremony.

7. College and Career note. Another thing I’ve done for my children is to memorialize, in writing, the most important things I tried to instill in them as they were growing up. Three of our five children are now in college or working. Before they left our nest, there were four things that Susan and I taught them and always want them to remember. Here are the four things I penned to each of them.

I hope these ideas will help you get started on writing notes to your children. If you have any creative ideas that you have used with your children, I’d love to hear them!

Seven Ways to Raise Compassionate Kids

Carl and Teresa Camera, with their sons Christopher and Kevin. (Keven Vandiver/Genesis Photos)

In a country where children are bombarded with advertisements for new toys and tantalizing trinkets, it can be hard for them to ignore their own wants and consider the needs of others—especially others whose worlds are vastly different.

It’s a challenge that Carl and Teresa Camera of Austin, Texas, know only too well. But recently their boys, Christopher, 11, and Kevin, 10, have taken steps that demonstrate a broader outlook. Last summer, Christopher volunteered to lead a Vacation Bible School class for younger children at his church. Kevin decided to donate $120 he had saved to help fund a deep-water well in a developing country. With an allowance of only $5 a week, it was for him an enormous sum.

Carl and Teresa offer seven tips for helping children capture a bigger vision:

1. Make it personal

It’s hard to share a vision unless you have first embraced it yourself. Carl became more attuned to the needs of the wider world after he participated in a church mission trip to Guatemala and subsequently shared his experiences with his family. The family decided to sponsor two children in Guatemala. Kevin and Christopher both picked boys about their age—Johnathon Gonzales and Juan Pineda—and soon all four began exchanging cards and drawings. Now Kevin and Christopher mention their Guatemalan friends nearly every day during family prayer times.

Christopher holds out a picture of his sponsored child. (Kevin Vandiver/Genesis Photos

2. Picture it

In 2006, Carl and Teresa traveled to Guatemala to meet their sponsored children. They would have loved to have taken their boys but felt they were still too young. Nevertheless, the couple returned with powerful stories and photos that they shared with Kevin and Christopher—and they plan to take the boys to Guatemala in the future. Among the strongest impressions: photos of the humble shacks where their sponsored children live, the struggle to get clean water, and the mass graves of those buried by recurring mudslides. Carl and Teresa also regularly talk with their boys about the photographs they see inWorld Vision magazine. “In a picture,” Teresa explains, “you get a concept of something that you may never have experienced in your entire life.”

3. Discuss eternal values

A Scripture that Carl and Teresa often share with their children is Matthew 6:19-20: “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth … but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven.” When Kevin donated money for the water well, he smiled and said he was storing up treasures in heaven. Carl regularly reminds his children that earthly treasures have limited value.

4. Lead by example

When Carl, a software engineer, got laid off, the family had to stop eating out and even put their home on the market to avoid a potential foreclosure. As it turned out, the family finances recovered. But in the midst of the trial, Carl and Teresa chose to continue sponsoring, both to honor their commitment and to serve as an example to their children. “You think they are not paying attention,” Carl says, “but your children will pick up on what you actually do, compared to what you say you do.”

Teresa regularly talks to her boys about their sponsored children. (Keven Vandiver/Genesis Photos)

5. Seize the teachable moment

While some parental teaching occurs by example, much is also conveyed quite intentionally. Recently, Kevin and Christopher were thrilled to be invited to a friend’s party, where they enjoyed a swimming pool with an exciting water slide. Carl encouraged his boys to take a lesson from the kindness of their friend’s family. “What a blessing they are to share that with us,” he said to them. “And we can be a blessing in the same way to others.’”

6. Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative

Many voices compete to shape children in our society, so the Cameras actively introduce their children to positive role models. For example, in homeschooling, Teresa uses a curriculum that includes stories about famous missionaries such as Hudson Taylor and Gladys Aylward. At the same time, she and Carl limit the boys’ exposure to television, mainly because of the pervasiveness of ads aimed at children. They are concerned that if their children are consumed by the desire for the latest electronics, more Lego® pieces, or a new scooter, they will find it harder to think of others. Teresa points out, “I am constantly telling my children, ‘OK, so you don’t have all these toys that your friends do, but you can be rich in love.’”

7. Pray without ceasing

Carl and Teresa maintain that even with the best intentions and parenting techniques, it’s no guarantee that children will take the right path. It has to be a work of God. “[We] pray that God gets ahold of their heart,” Teresa says, “that they give their lives to serve Jesus and live a life pleasing to him.”