"We (parents) play a huge role in the adults that our children become."

Today's post from epicparent.tv which is listed at right of this PABAMA blog for consistent reference. This one hits home like a brick. We have kids (many of us several) who are right smack in the middle of these age groups and I know I need the reminders of my impact! Read on...

As many of you know, Amy Winehouse passed away on Saturday, July 23rd. On Saturday, officers checked her apartment after reports of woman found deceased. On arrival officers found the body of a 27-year-old female who was pronounced dead at the scene. Later it was confirmed that the young lady was Amy Winehouse.

Although no autopsy has been performed the rumors are flying that it had to be drug or alcohol related. A few believe that it could be due to her struggle with emphysema.

So why am I writing this post today?

I believe that Amy Winehouse’s death could be linked to drugs and alcohol but the reality is that her struggle with addictions is merely a symptom of a greater problem, which could be parenting.

Some scholars believe that a child’s character could be formed by the age of 3. Some believe that at a young age it is possible to predict the adult that he or she will become.

Here are several stages of character development parents should consider…

0 to 2: This can be called the stage of aggression. This is the stage when kids learn to hit, bite and kick and parents have a responsibility to shape this at a young age.

2 to 3: This stage can be called the stage of control. Kids began to feel a sense of entitlement and want to control their own decisions.

3 to 4: This stage can be called the stage of separation. Kids began to feel more comfortable separating from mom and dad.

4 to 5: This stage can be called the stage of opinions. Kids start to form their own opinions and the arguing begins. This is the stage when kids begin to complain as well as please their parents. This is a very important stage for parents to parent well. We don’t want to create a generation of argumentative kids nor do we want to raise people pleasers.

5 plus: This stage can be called the stage of self esteem. Five years plus are very tough years of kids developing a strong sense of self and a health self esteem.

Again, I believe that Amy’s death could be linked to drugs and alcohol but parenting could have also played a role.

I read a recent interview with Amy’s Father where he stated that he believed his extra-marital affair ruined his daughter’s childhood.

“Mitch Winehouse admits he made his daughter’s early life difficult by cheating on her mother Janis for eight years, before leaving the family home to live with his mistress Jane in 1993. He said: ‘The affair was in the open and the children used to call Jane ‘Daddy’s work wife’. I did not leave home until Amy was ten so the situation occurred for eight or nine years before I left home. It was difficult.’” (This was taken from an interview on Boston.com.)

I do not know Amy Winehouse, her father or what their relationship was like. And I don’t think that her father Mitch is directly responsible for her death but I am sure that he is broken and paralyzed during this tragedy. But I do believe that parents shape the good and bad in their kids’ lives and we play a huge role in the adults they become.

My prayer is that parents would take this post seriously and realize that their every action, words and lifestyle directly influence the man and woman your kids become. Parents, examine the good, bad and the ugly of what you are passing down to the next generation.